compleate randomness
by HappyEmoPuppy9034
Summary: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! I wrote this when I ate too much whipped cream, rated for language! greatness, now i'm just going to base it on hits, but plz review! k?
1. Enter Tobi, the all powerful

Once a not-so-long-ago day in the akatsuki………..

"itachi" our favorite masked nin whispered

"itachi" this time a bit louder

"ITACHI!!" this time in an ear-splitting-and-cracking-all-boundries-of-our-souler-systom-you-cannot-hear-because-of-the-uber-loud-scream-that-was-heard-in-the-past-as-report-wow-and-only-supper-humans-can-withstand-without-cracking-their-skulls type of scream.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT YOU STUPID-SON-OF-A-BISCUT-IN-A-BASKET-EATER?!?!

"well if your going to be mean about it…."  
Tobi pulls out a sward that looks oddly familiar to Itachi, but cannot put his finger on it. Ironically Kisame, our favorite Japanese fighting fish-thingy-dude came in to the room and stumbled onto the scene.

"I'm sorry Itachi-san, but your going to have to di-"

"Have you guys seen my Saman—YOU STOLE MY SWORD!!! YOU SHALL FEEL MY SQUIRRELY WRATH!!!" Kisame said, interrupting the masked nin.

Buuut ooff couuurse Itaaaaachi juuuust haaaad tooo cuuuut hiiiim oooofffffffffff hiiiiiiis raaaaammmmpppaaggge!!!!

"but, Kisame, your not a squirrel."

"……."

"SCILENCE YOU!!! Now Tobi, be a good boy and give me back my Samanhada, or be a bad boy and kill Itachi, its your choice."

Tobi twitched at the thought of being a bad boy but wanted to kill Itachi sooo badly that it made him die a little inside.

"Fine, you win, Tobi is a good boy." Tobi said as he hung his head in defeat.

**BOOM**

"NOOOOO"

**SMACK, CRASH, BOOM, GROWLITH!!!!**

Just then a blond Iwa nin came screaming something about his clay revolting, his hand-mouths(tehehe. Hand-mouths) were arguing about who-knows-what as Tobi was on his way to use his Tobi-glomp-no-jutsu on poor Deidara.

"suffocation style, Tobi glomp no jutsu!"

As I said, poor Deidara.

"I pity the fools, who don't eat blah flavored boxed-and-reboxed-into-some-disgusting-food-type-stuffs. EAT IT NOW OR DIE!!" Kakuzu rambled as he walked into the kitchen. That was when he remembered about his lifetime supply of said flavored-boxed-and-reboxed-food-stuffs and smiled and continued talking

"tehehe, free food for life, sweet!"

Omg, my mawmaw would be sooo proud!


	2. Enter Shino, the almighty!

REVENGE!!!! (sorry for the long wait)

If I owned Naruto, it would be about marshmallow ninjas trying to obtain special "sprinkle powers" through special means (not that you messed-up-sick-pervert!!)

Anywho…

Getting back to where we left everyone off….

"Tobi is good boy." Kisime grumbled as he retrieved his samahada.

"Tobi knows!" Tobi quickly said

Kisime wanted to pound Tobi into oblivion by now, but couldn't because Zetsu was around, plus Dedara called "dibs" on pounding the kid with his so-called "art", so Kisame just guzzled down a bottle of whipp-ed creame' (that's whipped cream for all those idiots out there ((you know who you aresuspicious of everybody who doesn't know where Russia is RUSSIA IS THE BIGGEST FRIGGIN' COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!! IT MATTERS AND LIVE WITH IT!!!!!!!!!)) you know I just HAD to do it happyemopuppiesrule) and its just DANDY to have a high Japanese-fighting-fish-dude-kinda-things-with-swoards-bigger-than-their-FRIGGIN'-BODIES!! Just imagine Kisame running around high on whipp-ed creme' if you STILL don't know what that means, your I.Q. is -5,392,689,721!!!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR CHILDREN!?!

Somewhere random in kohana…

"SHINO!! COME HERE AND PICK UP ALL YOUR SO-CALLED 'FOLLOWERS' OR WHATEVER!!"

"…"

"SHINO!!"

Just then all the bugs start flowing out the door to meet a very dark and scary looking shino. I just guess he finaly went all I-hate-everything-and-everyone on us I'm so proud "YOU KNOW WHAT MOM, FUCK YOU AND THE REST OF KOHANA!! I'M 18 NOW AND I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!! I'M EVEN GOING TO JOIN THE AKATSUKI NOW SO HAAAAA!!!"

The Akatsuki base again (3 seconds later) …

"KISIME, DID YOU EAT ALL OF LEADER'S WHIPPED CREAM?!" again Deidara was ignored. Just then Shino burst through the door heroically!!

" WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"I am Shino, the almighty, FEAR ME!"

"… no really why are you here? I don't have all day."

"iwanttojointheakasuki"

"ok, just clear it with Leader and your good, you can be an apprentice."

Guess who? Well now I'll leave you for a good while, but I'm going on vacation, to D.C. baby! B-back in a while!! Byezes!


	3. Le' Gasp

I'M BACK AND READY FOR ACTION!! Nikki (my name) is a good girl and knows it!! Sooo…(idon'townnarutooranyothercharictorssoHAAAA!!)

After Shino proved him self to Pein (leader), the worst thing in akatsuki history happened, Tobi became a sensei! Le' gasp

"Rule #1, be a good boy like Tobi…."

Shino didn't relay listen to his teacher as he got bugs for his collection, but he DEFINATLY heard the last part, it was like suicide for Shino to even consider it,

"…use soap when your dirty…"

No, not that,

"…and last but not least, leave the bugs outside, they scare other people o.O"

"…"

"was it something Tobi said?"

"I WILL NOT LEAVE MY BELOVED CHILDREN OUTSIDE YOU BASTARD!!"

"now, Tobi knows that you would like your bugs inside, but…"

"ZETSU KINDA SCARES ME AND YOU DON'T LEAVE HIM OUTSIDE!!"

"Shino, Zetsu is CANIBALISTIC!! He would eat everybody if you so much as sneeze in his general direction!! AND STOP SCREAMING AT TOBI!! Oh, that brings Tobi to another rule, only talk in third person."

"SHINO THINKS THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!"

"Tobi thinks its fun too, but now Tobi shall train you…"

"In what ? ninjutsu, genjutsu, or taijutsu?"

"neither.."

"THEN WHAT?!"

"In Tobi-ness!"

OK, now if you send me a review (I ONLY NEED ONE) that says "Nikki is a good girl" you shall win a marvels prize!! audience cheers WOOT!!


	4. Lesson 1: Pranks

YAYZES!! IAMSOOHYPERITSNOTEVENFUNNY!!! ( and yes I did mean for all for all of that to run together so DEAL WITH IT BECAUSE IT MATTERS)

SOWITHOUTFURTHERADUEONWITHTHESHOWNESS!!

(currently, I do not own any of the naruto cast, so….SHUT UP!! Gosh!)

Plz send me more reviews, they help me feed the hungry children that have been molested by MICHEL JACKSON! Le' gasp (Nikki is a good girl)

"Tobi-ness?"

"Yep! Tobi shall teach you how to duck, hide, sneek up on people, play awesome pranks, and the most supper technique that anybody has ever seen!!"

"…killer…"

Back in leader's oh-so-secluded office (that's just a cardboard box in the living room with the letters LEADER'S OFFICE written on it with sharpie marker)

Knocking

"what is it?" Pein replied with a mouth full of doughnuts (A.N. yummy doughnuts!)

Knocking still

"I SAID WHAT IS IT?!"

Knocking even still

"GROWLITH!!" Pein yelled out his battle cry as he thew away his office (A.N. coughBOXcough) and before he realized it, he was hit with the wind of a fan

"NOOO!! MY SECRETIVITY HAS BEEN DESTROIED!! CURSE YOU!!"

And as he said those words, his shadows blew away to reveal a white guy with the spikiest red hair that defied all gravity and he had ring-ed eyes that turned orange in the middle, and a MILLION PEIRCINGS!! (to all dudes and chicks out there, that is actually what he looks like)

"ATTENTION ALL AKATSUKI MEMBERS, LEADER CAME OUT OF THE SHADOWS AND HIS FACE IS REVIELED!! REPORT TO THE LIVING ROOM!" was announced over the speakers and all the akatsuki members, who none of them were on missions by the way, gathered in the living room and gawked (literally gawked ) at the un-shadowed Leader and mentally cursed themselves about not trying the fan trick in the first place

"And that is how to come up with and play awesome pranks on the other members, do you understand Shino?" Tobi whispered to his student as he stood operating the fan

"Yes, Shino understands, Tobi-sensei"

Now, I promised cool prizes to the people who review saying that "Nikki is a good girl" in them, this shall last for as long as I wish, and the lucky winners are (drum roll) Maya-Chan and Laylamajnun!! WOOT! HERE ARE YOUR FABULESS PRIZES!! (hands each of them an old magical pixie, one named Peanut Butter, and the other named Jelly!) YOSH!!


	5. NO MORE OATMEAL GRANDMA!

I won't post anything until I get more reviews. I'm even willing to cancel the story. Sorry blokes, but the puppies need to feed their hunger for reviews. Without them, how am I supposed to breath!?


	6. STOP! I SAID I'M FULL!

Oopsie doodles!! I forgot somebody who needs a little dose of the infamous 'Tobi Glomp no Jutsu'

Thank you Drigger-kid for your review! Here is your prize (announcer guy from the price is right ((whitch I also don't own))comes into the room) That's right Bob!! you win a pice of pie that is currently growing mold in my refridgerator!! It is 17 years old and is banana and goat flavored!!

(I start yelling at him) NIKKI'S NAME ISN'T BOB., SHE IS A GIRL AND WHO IN THIER RIGHT MIND WOULD EAT THAT?! Well that's all the time the HappyEmoPuppy has for today!! Thanky for taking the airport Nikki from the werido guy , who is curently trying to grab my ass right now and is succeding! (I WANT A RESTRAINING ORDER SO THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!)

Thanks for playing!


	7. Lesson 2: ducking and hiding

now , lesson 2, is ducking and hiding!!

"Tobi will leave Shino to annoy Itachi, who carries a flamethrower in his akatsuki cloak since the last insident!" Tobi instructed

"Is that a good thing?" Shino asked

"No!" Tobi said enthusiasticaly

(O.M.G!! Poor Itachi)

"itachi" Shino wispered

"Itachi" Shino said copying Tobi slightly at the beggining of the story

"ITACHI,ITACHI,ITACHI,ITACHI!!!" Shino said as he glomped Itachi

"WHAT THE HELL?! SHINO, YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT NOW!!" Our favorate Uchiha said as he pulled out a flamethrower of DEATH that has signatures from every member on it and is colored bright pink and the nossel looks like a giant flower

"WWWWHHHAAAAAA!!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!! I'LL KILL YOU ,BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE, TORTURE YOU, THEN KILL YOU AGAIN, AND REPEAT THE PROSESS!!!"

"..." Shino tried his hardest to stay quiet, but just had to sneeze at that moment

"AA-CHOOOOO!!"

"THERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE TWERP, NOW IT SHALL BEG-" just at that moment, shino covered Itachi in soy sause, dead fish, ice cream, mashed potatoes, and other gooey junk you find in the kitchen, toilet, fish bowel, and trash can. Itachi just stood there, in shock. Shino took this opertunity to run like hell is about to eat his cupcakes!!

"Shino...do you know what you just did?" Tobi asked in a very scary voice

"SHINO IS SORRY, SHINO DIDN'T MEAN IT!! ITS JUST ITACHI CHASED HIM, AND THE CD-ROM EXPLODED, AND DEIDARA CAME IN AND STARTED CRYING, AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!! SHINO IS SORRY! SHINO IS SOOOO SORRY!"

"no, you just pulled off THE BEST PRANK EVER!! YOU EVEN GOT ITACHI ALL MIXED UP IN IT!! YOU ARE THE BESTEST STUDENT EVER!!" Tobi said in a very exited voice

"sweet"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

IDON'TOWNNARUTOINANYWAYSHAPEFORMORWHATEVERTHEHELLYOUARETHINKING

I gave up and just started typing away in bordom

nobody won fabulous prizes today so I'll keep this car (coughBRANDNEWMUSTANGCANVERTABLEcough) for myself

BYZES!!


	8. Lesson 3: the bestest jutsu eva!

YAYZES!!! I AM SOOO HAPPY!! YOU ALL WIN!!! THANK YOU! TAKE IT AWAY ANNOUNCER GUY THAT IS CURRENTLY OVER 7 MILES AWAY BECAUSE OF THAT LAST INCIDENT!!!!

(somewhere in a dumpster) Thats right Bob! You all win fabulous prizes because he feels like it! (pulls out a large number of bags) Yes you all win a bag of water!! Yes, a paper bag that is full of 100 pure H2O!! Back to you Bob (back to my pimped out computer) WHAT THE HELL DID NIKKI TELL YOU!! NIKKI IS A GIRL, HER NAME IS NOT BOB, AND NOW YOU SHALL PAY!!

(1 million little fuzzy anamals start biting the weird and annoying announcer guy) faint screams in the backround THAT'S ALL THAT I HAVE TIME FOR, NOW ON WITH THE TALES OF TOBI AND SHINO!!

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"Now grasshopper, We shall bagin our new lesson"

"Yes master"

Tobi and Shino were in a percularly placed dojo that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Mr.Moneybags (If you don't know who that is, you need to go away now) was thowing a fit because of said dojo, Deidara was wondering how to blow it up, and Pein (leader sama) wants to make it his new office. By this point, Tobi and Shino already started thier lesson.

"Master Tobi, why are we doing this lesson while acting like monks?" Shino asked

Tobi stayed quiet for a while, but then said

"BECAUSE TOBI FEELS LIKE IT!!"

O.k., you got me, more like screamed

"Anyway, we shall teach you the supper awesome jutsu ever. You are ready, my pupil."

"...killer..."

a few minuets later...

"THAT WAS FUCKIN' SHWEET!!"

"Why yes, yes it was."

Appearently Shino and Tobi destroyed half of a mountan, roasted a goat, ate some KFC, and found burried treasure in Deidara's clay mine.

So what was Tobi's secret jutsu?

How the hell did that all happen in a few minuets?

What's my pet cat's name?!

Find out next time on the grim adventures of earl and mindy!!

(idon'towmnarutoinanywayshapeorform)


	9. HELP ME NOW!

HAY HAY YOU YOU come here and read this!!

My sister, **LilMissLazy, **Aka **Lexi** is writing a fanfiction called **The Boy Who Cried Ninja**. I need to get my loyal revewers and readers to read it and give your comments. So far she's 2 chappies in and is threatening to stop writing if she dosen't get more hits!! I want her to keep writing, so plz help me and read her stuff. Its realy good and sometimes she is more random than me!! It gets better later and both of us are OCs in the story and warning its going to be _**rated M **_(she likes to make fun of me because i'm on the line of fangirdom and the only thing keeping me from that terrible fate is will power and YOUTH!!) If you help me, I'll write non-stop till the story is done!! promises!!

Also I have an extra special lucky winner today!! WOOT!!! TIS' BE ...

OROCHIMARUISCOOL !!! plz, this is only my opinion, change your name!! OROCHIMARU IS A CROSS BETWEEN MICHEL JACKSON AND 'HE WHO SHULD NOT BE NAMED' (sorry oreo fans but I JUST HAD TO DO IT!! IT MATTERS AND LIVE WITH IT!!)

Anywho... TAKE IT AWAY WEIRDO ANNOUNCER THAT SHOULD BE DEAD BECAUSE OF MY PETS!!

(over 100 miles away in a woman's restroom)

Why yes Bob, you win a fabulous prize!! A date with RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED RAINDEER!! Yes this famous chrismas icon is up for dibs and you won!! CONGRATULATIONS!!

(back inside my bright lavender room)

NIKKI FUCKIN' TOLD YOU THAT SHE IS A GIRL, HER NAME IS NOT BOB, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN A WOMAN'S RESTROOM, AND WHY RUDOLPH!?! KISAME!!

(I don't care if its possible or not, I AM FUCKIN' PISSED OFF!!)

Kisame: Yes Nik...ZOMG WHAT THE HELL?!

(if your wondering, he found me swearing and trying to strangle my lappy screan because of the retard in the girls bathroom)

Still Kisame: Nik, calm down

Me:ZOMGLOLLAMOHISOMHLPME!!

Kisame: OH DEAR GOD WHAT HAPPENED, oh well migh as well join the party

(gets a whipped cream bottle out of nowhere and chugs it)

WOOT!!

...and slowley, one by one, all the akatsuki join me in a 'lets get hyper and high off of whipped cream' party

WOOTNESS!!


	10. sniffle sob

(sniffle sob) I am so sorry my dear and fateful fans! This tis beh the last chappie!! (dodges all the stuff that is being tossed at meh) STOP THAT!! NIKKI IS AS SAD AS YOU ARE!!

Anyway, I will take request about other stories that need the HappyEmoPuppy touch!

789789789789789789789789789789789789789789789789789

"Shino, you are near completion of your training and Tobi needs to ask you something…"Tobi trailed off

"Sure Tobi-sensei! Anything!"

"Are you ready to rule the world?!"

Shino just stood there stunned, he had never been leader, or ruler, of anything before. Shino felt a fire of determination build up in his belleh'! This was his chance to get some respect and recognition in this world, and will be dammed if he missed it.

"YOSH TOBI SENSEI!!! SHINO IS READY!!!"

That night, they took over the akatsuki by threatening the leader's cabbage patch kids (ALL 1,835,784,367 OF THE GOD-DARNED UGLY THINGS!) and tricked the tailed beasties out of hiding, and basically run a random world that bends to their will.

And Cody and Brad lived happily ever after in the

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Don'townnarutooranythingelseinthisworldbesidesthisrealybigdiamondthatisrealysaughtafterandiswellyhidden

Mr.moneybags:GIVE ME THAT DIAMOND NOW!!


End file.
